Bismillah
How can we appreciate and measure happiness if we never felt sadness ?
Its reaching the end of May 2015. Generally, there's a lot of things happened in May. And of course la I kennot share everything here. Hm, theres a lot of things to write, but I often use "no time" or even "no mood" to share. but when Im writing it here, specifically like now. I do realised, writing or u may say as blogging is like a way out for me. and maybe it means, I am finally ready to start all over again.
Ive been on my edges for the past few weeks especially this week (22-30/5). I dont know how to describe it. my room was a huge mess, i couldnt find any clear spot on my table, my laptop turned on like 25hours everyday, I keep scrolling most of my time. hatred. anger. everything mixed up and I coudnt even find the light of positivity to continue my day.
Surviving everyday, to go through a day felt like thousands years ( Omg, i am exaggerating). I loss my appetite. I sleep like everytime except when Im in class or clinic. so, basically, yeah. woke up 15mins before 8am class, and 15mins aftr reaching my room usually at 615pm I will sleep until the next day. sometimes, I seem to cut off my connections with people. I am just too tired, too lazy and too meesed up!
When Im in class for lecture, my mind wandering to a place I dont know where. Not reading or preparing anything for PBL, even all the assigmnts are done one hour before submission (Alhamdulillah, still manage to do it). I dont even know whats happening to me. I just want to go home. to meet ibu ayah and my sibs. I miss them all
Thinking back of May, yeah. Theres a lot of things happening. Our Head And Neck Workshop on 9-10 May. well, that was a good seminar but hating it for taking my weekends! Then, on the next week, we did hosting the National Dental Scientific Students Conference on 16-17 May. Then, our community service at Sg Isap. And today, we have clinic replacement due to rhearsal of NDSSC on 15 May. Basically, all my weekend in May just flew away with all those activities. yeah, those activitites are good. but taking the only rest day we have aftr tiring monday to friday 8am to 5pm was frustrating ! and I need an escape :(
wow zati wow. because I am still surviving. got only tomorrow to rest. Then will start busy with PBL ( i hate to read! ), clinics, requirements, gmgs, hospitals, all those stuffs. Just thinking of it makes me wonder. Can I really do this? cn I really pass year 3 ?
but then. Allah will not burdens a soul. He will help me. I just have to pick all my shits together and try again. one more time zati. *cryyy*
tak zabarrr nak balik next week. but I know that one thing I want tomorrow. not mood republic tour pahang, not even Nasi Lemak La Timur, and not ice cream either. it is you. you. you
sekian~ meroyan teruk haihh
